Random Thoughts From A Soon To Be College Graduate

I keep feeling like today will get better and it won’t. This is the first year that I haven’t spent mother’s day with my mom so it’s hard. Throw on top of that the fact that my boyfriend’s brother passed away this morning, it just gets tougher. He’s inconsolable and I can’t do a thing about it because he is exactly 1,072 miles away. That’s 1,072 minutes away, if I went 60 the whole time. I can’t be there for him or for his family, who are all amazing people. They shouldn’t  have to deal with this on Mother’s Day and his dad’s birthday. I just feel so lost with what to do and what to say to him. I’ve made him even more upset without even meaning to. I feel like such a failure today because I can’t do one little thing he asks. Today will just be a hard day and I’ll have to deal but it’s hard when all you want to do is hold him close and tell him that everything will be ok. 

Leave Note / Reblog

You Think You Know Me ? (Bold apply)

I am a morning person.

I am a perfectionist.

I am an only child.

I am Catholic.

I am currently in my PJs.

I am currently pregnant.

I am currently suffering from a broken heart.

I am left handed.

I am married.

I am addicted to MySpace. Twitter/Tumblr/Facebook/BBM/Pinterest

I’m shy around the opposite sex.

I bite my nails.

I currently regret something I have done.

When I get mad I curse.

I don’t like anyone.

I enjoy country music.

I enjoy jazz music.

I have a car.

I have a cell phone.

I have a pet.

I have at least one brother or sister.

I have been to another country.

I have been told that I’m smart.

I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor.

I have had a broken bone.

I have changed a lot over the past year.

I have caller ID on my phone.

I have had surgery.

I have killed another person. 

I have had my hair cut within the last week.

I have had the cops called on me.

I have kissed someone I knew I shouldn’t.

I have kissed someone of the same gender.

I have mood swings.

I have rejected someone before.

I have seen the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

I have watched Sex and the City.

I like Shakespeare.

I love to cook.

I love Michael Jackson.

I love sleeping.

I love shopping.

I miss someone right now.

I own over 100 CDs.

I own over 100 DVDs.

I own and use a library card.

I practice a religion that is not considered mainstream.

I read books for pleasure in my spare time.

I sleep a lot during the day.

I strongly dislike math.

I think Britney Spears is pretty.

I will try anything once.

I work at a job that I enjoy.

I would classify myself as ghetto.

I can name all seven dwarfs from Snow White.

I am currently wearing socks.

I am tired.

I am currently waiting for someone.

I lost contact with someone.

I think Party In The USA is catchy.

I’d date Harry Potter/Ronald Weasley

I can name all the past presidents of the United States.

I know who was president before George Bush.

I love pickles.

I need the internet to live.

I prefer vanilla over chocolate.

I watched Star Trek.

I watched all six movies of Star Wars.

I own an Xbox.

I think music is life.

Music

Acceptance. Coldplay. Dave Matthews Band. David Bowie. Foo Fighters.Hellogoodbye. The Killers. James Blunt. Teddy Geiger. Linkin Park. Muse.Ok Go. Panic At The Disco. Peter Bjorn. The Postal Service.Timbaland. Jack Johnson. Norah Jones.Drake. The Fray. The Wreckers. Michael Buble. Beyoncé. Metallica. Massive Attack. Queen. Journey. The Cars. Supertramp. Eurythmics. Sublime. The Red Hot Chili Peppers. Wu-tang Clan. Fergie.Sarah McLachlan. Band of Horses. John Mayer. Jason Mraz. Justin Timberlake. Michael Jackson. Kenny Chesney. Carrie Underwood. Lynyrd Skynyrd. Neil Young. The Beatles. Brad Paisley. Tim McGraw. Taylor Swift. P. Diddy. Jay Z. Lil’ Wayne. Lil’ Jon. Three 6 Mafia. Nelly. Young Joc.T.I. Sean Paul. 50 Cent. Eminem. Eiffel 65. Ace of Base. The Underdog Project. Dream Theater. Santana. Alicia Keys. Incubus. Victor Wooten. Ludacris. Gorillaz. Matchbox 20. Paramore. Say Anything. Taking Back Sunday. Eric Clapton. The Darkness.Weezer. Maroon 5. The Eagles. Jimi Hendrix. Billy Joel. Matt Wertz. Reel Big Fish. Anberlin. Mae. Family Force 5. AC/DC. Hootie and the Blowfish. Electric Six. Outkast. R.E.M. The White Stripes. Prince. Mika. Crystal Castles. Britney Spears. Spice Girls. The Gossip. Lady GaGa. Eagles. Nirvana. Smashing Pumpkins. Motion City Soundtrack. The Rocket Summer. Third Eye Blind. Metro Station. All Time Low.The Cab. Tenacious D. Something Corporate. The Moldy Peaches.Macy Gray. Mandy Moore. Plain White T’s. Yeah Yeah Yeahs. My Chemical Romance. Fall Out Boy. We the Kings. The Rolling Stones. A Rocket to the Moon. Angels & Airwaves. The Beastie Boys. Simple Plan. Black Eyed Peas. Boys Like Girls. Jonas Brothers. Demi Lovato. Selena Gomez. The Cure.Cobra Starship. Death Cab for Cutie. Katy Perry. Deftones. Team Sleep. Filter. Goo Goo Dolls. Honor Society. Kid Cudi. Five Iron Frenzy. Tally Hall. Gym Class Heroes. Travie McCoy. McFly. One Direction.

Movies (BOLD THE ONES YOU’VE SEEN)

Glory Road. Pride and Prejudice. The Princess Bride. Goonies. Center Stage.  Seven. Ocean’s Eleven. Newsies. 300. Robin Hood: Men In Tights.Love Actually. Donnie Darko. My Best Friend’s Wedding. Garden State. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Wedding Crashers.  Anchorman. Drop Dead Gorgeous. Elf. Zoolander. Austin Powers. Clueless. Mean Girls. Hairspray. Moulin Rouge. Fight Club. Pulp Fiction. What A Girl Wants. Kill Bill. Rocky. Thank You For Smoking. Little Miss Sunshine. Requiem for a Dream. The Departed. Dawn of the Dead. Memento. The Lovely Bones. 17 Again. 8 Mile. Office Space. Snakes on a Plane. Boondock Saints. The Silence of the Lambs. Say Anything. The Devil Wears Prada. Saving Private Ryan. Superbad. The Prestige. Just Friends. Under the Tuscan Sun. Titanic. Steel Magnolias. Saw. Ace Ventura. She’s the Man. Because I Said So. Catch and Release. Music and Lyrics. Spanglish. Stick It. Step Up. The Fast and the Furious. Joyride.  Halloween. The Italian Job. Crash. Must Love Dogs. The Last Kiss. Chicago. Harry Potter. Rush Hour. Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Clerks.  Shooter. The Bourne Identity. Meet the Parents. Dirty Dancing. A Christmas Story.Rudy. National Treasure.Sleepless in Seattle. Miss Congeniality. The Science of Sleep. The Matrix. Everything is Illuminated. Good Will Hunting. Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Empire Records. Phantom of the Opera.District 9. Lord of the Rings. Click. Scarface. The Notebook.

TV (BOLD THE ONES YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN A COUPLE OF TIMES)  

Saved by the Bell. Grey’s Anatomy. Man vs. Wild. Scrubs. South Park. ER.America’s Next Top Model. Gossip Girl. Sex and the City. Friends.Dawson’s Creek. The Big Bang Theory. Seinfeld. The Office (British Version). Lost. Miami Ink. Made. Arrested Development. That 70’s Show. Family Guy. The Simpsons. Veronica Mars. Project Runway. Bones. Iron Chef. Alias.  Gilmore Girls. Pushing Daisies. The Colbert Report. The Daily Show.Mythbusters. Avatar: The Last Airbender. Will and Grace. 24. House. To Catch A Predator. Whistler. Heroes. Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Unsolved Mysteries. 7th Heaven.Everybody Loves Raymond. Boston Legal. Bleach. What I Like About You. Reba. King of Queens. Survivor. The O.C. American Idol. Days of Our Lives.  CSI. How I Met Your Mother. Boy Meets World. Law and Order. Numbers. Reno 911. I Love New York. Step by Step. Little People Big World. What Not To Wear. My Wife and Kids. Supernatural. Moonlight. Ace of Cakes. White Collar. Nip/Tuck. The Biggest Loser. Beauty and the Geek. Battlestar Galactica. Stargate SG1. The Inferno. Scarred. Wild N Out. Real World. Trinity Blood. Dead Like Me.Whose Line is it Anyway?. Futurama. Dragon Ball Z. Degrassi. Greek. Glee. Secret Life of the American Teenager. The Hills. Laguna Beach. Firefly. Vampire Diaries.Medium. Star Trek. X-files. Cowboy BeBop. Sailor Moon. My Name is Earl. Six Feet Under. Dancing With The Stars

Leave Note / Reblog

This sucks. I love him so much and there is nothing I can do to make things better. I understand what he’s going through and I hate that I’m being selfish. I have been crying on and off for the last 2 days and to keep the strength up at work is the hardest thing ever. 

Leave Note / Reblog

I just want to be so mad at him for ignoring me basically all day. I really don’t know how to just tell him that I hate how he basically uses me when he’s feeling down and the minute that I feel down I can’t even go to him. He hates how I get sad when he ignores me because he “can’t pay attention to me all of the time”. I don’t even ask for all of the time, hell I barely ask for even part of the time. How can he expect me to ignore every other guy out there when he ignores me? I just want to be happy and have everything be okay between him and I, but I don’t think it will EVER happen. He has too many fucked up things going on in my head. He doesn’t really care that I sit there at night, waiting for him to call me and then has me tell him go to sleep because he is tired. If you’re tired, then don’t FUCKING tell me to stay up until 1 in the morning to talk to you when I feel like death. And then don’t apologize the next morning, tell me things are going to be different today and then ignore me even more than you did yesterday. It toys with my emotions and I just can’t handle it much longer. I love you but I will NOT let you use me anymore. 

Leave Note / Reblog